Sunday, May 31, 2009

Up Close and Too Personal at the KC Zoo

I give the Kansas City Zoo a lot of crap. It's not that it isn't a perfectly good zoo, but the fact is, I have been completely spoiled by St. Louis and its "100% free zoo admission." Granted, 100% of everything inside the St. Louie zoo is pretty much going to cost you a fortune, but the basic animals in cages thing is pretty much free.

But, because I live in Kansas City, and because I feel bad about dissing the zoo, we generally make a trek there at least once a summer.

So around noon today, Daniel, Ghetto, and I all headed down to the zoo for our yearly fix of hippos, giraffes, kangaroos, and rhinos.

Yes....rhinos. Ghetto's favorite animal to look at because "they always do something crazy." So after spending at least 15 minutes checking out the hippos (Daniel's favorite), we walked over to check out the great horned beasts. And, lo and behold, they were acting crazy. One guy was banging his head on a log and we had a good laugh at him.

Then we saw one head our way.

This guy was massive! Daniel immediately grabbed the camera and started snapping pictures. We moved closer to the fence to get a better view as he walked not 7 feet away from us. Then he turned around to give us a good view of his rear end. As Daniel was shouting at him to turn around so he could get a better picture, I was taking a not-so-pleasant look at his private parts.

"Nice penis, buddy." I believe was my line.

Then all I saw was a shower of liquid leaving said penis and spraying all over my legs.

A rhinoceros peed on me today.


After it happened, we all sort of just looked at each other and started laughing. Then I looked down and saw that my legs were dripping with rhino urine. Smelly rhino urine. So after sprinting to the bathroom and washing off with toilet paper and water (zoo too cheap for paper towels), we continued our journey around the park. Wiser (and smellier) for the experience.

And what did Mr. Rhino do after his glorious act?

Thanks Kansas City Zoo. I just paid 10.50 to get peed on.


B Fuhr said...

Oh, how fabulous. When I got your voice mail about this I just remember looking at Nik... that can't possibly be what she said.

leighbe72 said...

This is too could only happen to you!!