Monday, October 12, 2009

Two Stories

Two very interesting things happened to me this weekend..

A Rescue Mission
Saturday was Claytons, my brother-in-law, wedding day, so I dropped Daniel off at the church for some picture taking, and I tried to decide where to go to spend the next hour. I started to dial his moms number when all of the sudden, I noticed that my car seemed to be acting odd. It also appeared that I wasnt moving. I looked around and hit the gas, but the car didnt budge, then I tried reverse and it stayed stuck. So I jumped out only to realize that my car was stuck in a ditch, and the back drivers side wheel was sticking straight up in the air.

I looked around to see if anyone had seen my predicament, and I immediately saw Daniel, Clayton and the rest of the Wedding Party Groomsmen running towards my car. Together they heroically pushed me out of the ditch and I went on my merry (and embarrassed) way. Needless to say, I was the butt of a few jokes for the rest of the day, but I'd like to call it a wedding day miracle. Also, the moral of the story is: Do not try to dial a cell phone while driving.

The Monster in the Bushes
Every fall I buy Mums to decorate my porch, then I promptly proceed to forget to water them and they die. Well Friday, determined to be a goodmum to my mums, I grabbed a big pitcher of water only to discover that it had rained the day before, so they were already a bit waterlogged. Unsure of what to do with the unneeded water, I just threw it in a couple of my bushes, and that is when I heard the sound.

Mew. Mew. Such a soft noise, but it was very distinct. My mind started racing. Maybe there was a cute cuddly kitten living in one of my bushes. I listened for the sound again, but after a few minutes things were still silent. I looked around the front of the bush to see if I could get a glimpse of the mysterious kitten. By this time, I was getting a little bit wary, but I decided to get on my front porch and see if I could find anything from behind the bush. Here kitty kitty kitty kitty, I cooed a few times, each time moving my head closer to the bushes in question. Here kitty kitty kitty…”

Suddenly the bush started moving and rustling and I dropped my water pitcher, screamed like I was being attacked by zombies, ran in my house and locked the door. After about 10 minutes of heavy breathing and peering through my front window at the bush, I called Daniel who refused to believe me when I told him that there was something living in our bushes, and even had the nerve to tell me that it was ”just the wind and I needed to stop imagining things. Well I have news for him,Mr. Its Just the Wind, there IS something living in the bushes and its probably some sort of zombie mutant cat that will eventually try to eat our brains. And when that happens, hell be sorry, and Ill want to tell himI told you so," but I wont because Ill be far away in my zombie protection shelter. So take that Daniel!

Ummm, but the moral of the story is: Do not water your plants.


Paul Michael Murphy said...

Yes! I knew it! I haven't watered my plants for years and not once have I ever noticed anything living in them.

I will be continuing this whole not watering thing.

Corey Redekop said...

Betty, I've made a little drawing in Critical Monkey and you've won! I've got two books waiting to wing their way to you.

Write me at (add the ampersand in place of the 'at') and provide me your address.