Thursday, August 27, 2009


These aren’t really part of the “Back to School Theme” I have going on this month, but I am bored. Haiku’s are such a delight to write, and Brenda requested one the other day, so I thought I’d post some of the others I’ve been working on. Enjoy!

Red Paperclip Haiku
O red paperclip
Hidden in my fav'rite stall
I know your secret

For Brenda
Happy memories
Bounce them around in your mind
You, Pie & Grandma.

My, what a downpour
A blanketing of freshness
Wisping through the night

Beware the Leechmen!
Flashing eyes & rock hard skin
Lead to Sparkling Death

Ode to Worst Fanfic Ever
One Hundred Horse Hooves
Wandering out in the snow
Lie about Feelings

Monday, August 24, 2009

She's All Growed Up

So as I was goofing off at work and messing around on the internet (whoops), I happened to notice my sister-in-law's facebook status. "Senior shirts are in!!"
My mouth dropped open and I stared at the screen. SENIOR shirts!?!?? How did my Emmo get to be a Senior in High School??

I knew she had been growing up. I mean, I've known her since she was four years old, and obviously I've noticed. She drives to school, works as a lifeguard, and I've noticed that lately she looks a lot more like Keira Knightly than Dakota Fanning. I know I have very distinctive memories of her being a freshman, sophomore, and junior. For some reason though, that's where it ends in my mind.

This has happened before. After high school, I called my sister a freshmen, as well as her classmates, about until the day she graduated. I remember staring in shock as all those "freshmen" walked across the stage, grabbing diplomas with glee.

I guess, in a way, keeping time stagnate is a defense mechanism. Emily staying a Junior is comforting for me and for her. Juniors have all the fun of the upperclassmen, but none of the stress of applying for colleges and preparing for graduation. Plus, I am safe in the knowledge that I still have a while before she leaves and grows up for real. However, time doesn't work that way, and Emmo is already loving being a senior, and I know she's going to experience all the crazy/awesome times that will come with it.

And because my whiney old lady butt can't stop you from growing up, I wish you good luck and many fun times, Emmo.

I love you. :-)

I searched for a good poem to describe time and growing up and stuff, but I couldn't find anything that really fit other than this. And although I'm not a father (obviously), I identify with that role here. It's a lovely poem, so enjoy! :-)


Neil Gaiman

We owe it to each other to tell stories,

as people simply, not as father and daughter.

I tell it to you for the hundredth time:

"There was a little girl, called Goldilocks,

for her hair was long and golden,

and she was walking in the Wood and she saw — "

"— cows." You say it with certainty,

remembering the strayed heifers we saw in the woods

behind the house, last month.

"Well, yes, perhaps she saw cows,

but also she saw a house."

"— a great big house," you tell me.

"No, a little house, all painted, neat and tidy."

"A great big house."

You have the conviction of all two-year-olds.

I wish I had such certitude.

"Ah. Yes. A great big house.

And she went in . . ."

I remember, as I tell it, that the locks

Of Southey's heroine had silvered with age.

The Old Woman and the Three Bears . . .

Perhaps they had been golden once, when she was a child.

And now, we are already up to the porridge,

"And it was too— "

"— hot!"

"And it was too— "

— cold!"

And then it was, we chorus, "just right."

The porridge is eaten, the baby's chair is shattered,

Goldilocks goes upstairs, examines beds, and sleeps,


But then the bears return.

Remembering Southey still, I do the voices:

Father Bear's gruff boom scares you, and you delight in it.

When I was a small child and heard the tale,

if I was anyone I was Baby Bear,

my porridge eaten, and my chair destroyed,

my bed inhabited by some strange girl.

You giggle when I do the baby's wail,

"Someone's been eating my prridge, and they've eaten it —"

"All up," you say. A response it is,

Or an amen.

The bears go upstairs hesitantly,

their house now feels desecrated. They realize

what locks are for. They reach the bedroom.

"Someone's been sleeping in my bed."

And here I hesitate, echoes of old jokes,

soft-core cartoons, crude headlines, in my head.

One day your mouth will curl at that line.

A loss of interest, later, innocence.

Innocence; as if it were a commodity.

"And if I could," my father wrote to me,

huge as a bear himself, when I was younger,

"I would dower you with experience, without experience."

and I, in my turn, would pass that on to you.

But we make our own mistakes. We sleep


It is our right. It is our madness and our glory.

The repetition echoes down the years.

When your children grow; when your dark locks begin to silver,

when you are an old woman, alone with your three bears,

what will you see? What stories will you tell?

"And then Goldilicks jumped out of the window and she ran —

Together, now: "All the way home."

And then you say, "Again. Again. Again."

We owe it to each other to tell stories.

These days my sympathy's with Father Bear.

Before I leave my house I lock the door,

and check each bed and chair on my return.




Thursday, August 20, 2009

My Top 5 Books/Movies/Shows About School

So in honor of the School Days Blogfest I've started, I've decided to name off my favorite representations of school. So here they are!

1. The Harry Potter Series - By J.K. Rowling

Okay, so it might not be the "school" we are familiar with, but after reading The Sorcerer's Stone all I wanted to do was attend Hogwarts and learn to be a wizard, and lucky for the reader, each subsequent book just made the world even richer and more appealing. J.K. Rowling did such an awesome job, that even to this day I still sort of believe it exists. So come on owls, I'm waiting for my letter!

2. Bridge to Terabithia - By Katherine Paterson
School: Lark Creek Elementary

I read Bridge to Terebithia for a class I think, and was completely surprised by awesome it was. This is aside from the "school aspect," but I read this at a time when I wouldn't even touch a book that dealt with "issues." I was not the kid who read Beverly Cleary and I wouldn't have been caught dead reading a "Babysitter's Club" book. Terabithia amazed me at the depth of the writing, and at how true the story felt. The smal town school experience seemed so like my own. Miss Edmunds is also a gem. She always reminds me of the teacher I wanted to be...when I still had the crazy idea of being a teacher.

3. Saved By the Bell

School: Bayside High

Nothing ever represented the essence of school like Saved by the Bell, or at least the essence of what we all wanted school to be. From the very first ring of that bell, Bayside was everyone's dream school. It was like Cheers, everyone knew your name and even the "big" problems had solutions. And they had some pretty hilarious solutions. In the words of Zach Attack, the kids at Bayside will be "Friends Forever," and their escapades will live on in reruns tomorrow.

4. Maniac Magee - By Jerry Spinelli
School: ????

As you can tell by my question marks, I don't remember much about school in this book, other than the little girl carting around all her books in a wagon. However, I DO remember the first time I read this book. Mrs. Sallee's 7th Grade Reading - This book captivated every single kid in my class, even the ones that thought reading was a waste of time. Maybe it was the possibility of living the way Maniac did, or maybe it was just that Maniac was magic, but we LOVED this book. It was an awesome experience because for once, we were all enjoying reading, and I'm pretty sure that's a bit of magic in itself.

5. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
School: Sunnydale High

Okay, maybe I haven't mentioned it before, but I happen to think that Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the best show EVER. The first three seasons were totally about High School and all the crappy/good/crazy stuff that goes on there. And I'm not talking about vampires, demons and the monster of the week, even though they were all there. I mean the actual highs and lows of going to school: grades, peer-pressure, boyfriends, time management, and the almost impossible task of attempting to choose a career. In the end, graduating from school seems like almost an impossible feat.

Oz: Guys. Take a moment to deal with this. We survived.

Buffy: It was a hell of a battle.

Oz: Not the battle. High School.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Winter, Spring, Summer, Back to School Season??

So it's August, and although I have no one to send to school and am not in school myself, I can't help the "Back to School" feeling I've been having. I suppose that happens when out of the 27 years I've been alive, 22 of those years involved me starting school in August. Habit forming, I guess. ;-)

Because of this "Back to School Season," aside from my desire to buy pens, pencils, and a GI Joe Trapper Keeper, I am also struck with an incredible yearning for Fall. I know this is mainly because all stores associate the start of school with cool weather, and stock accordingly so, but it really means I'm stuck looking longingly at my hooded sweatshirts with the thermometer reading 90+ degrees outside.

Fall is a long, long way off and so is pumpkin pie, hot apple cider, and lots of really delicious soups and chili. I know I need to tough it out and enjoy the rest of summer. Look on the bright side and say, "Hey, just cause the warm season is over for the younguns, doesn't mean mine has to be over!" I should go swimming every day, drink margaritas and work on my "tan." But the truth is....I don't wanna. I want to wear jeans and a hooded sweatshirt, go to a football game with friends...and drink some G-DAMN Apple Cider!

So in honor of this wishy-washy "Back to School" season, I've decided to write a series of blog posts about school, both from my experiences and others. I'll be "most likely" ending the series with a trip back I've planned to my Alma Mater, Truman State University for my (gasp) 5 year college reunion.

So if you'll excuse me, my GI Joe Trapper Keeper just fell out of my Beauty and the Beast backpack, and I have to get it picked up before the bus gets here.